Hey dudes. So there is this girl, right? You see her all the time at the gym, at a Crossfit class, maybe you just see her around the office. She is the Fit Girl, the apple of your eye. She is the only girl doing tricep pulls and bench presses and working hard. She has one of the fastest Grace times at an Rx weight. You can see her strong, feminine shoulder muscles flex as she lifts not one, but TWO cartons of printer paper. She only stays at work parties until like 12 and she leaves not even drunk! She smiles broadly, rarely asks for help and is totally focused on the task at hand.
What. A. Woman.
You need this girl in your life – but it seems like she doesn’t need anything. She is so strong and pretty! You have tried to get her attention before but she’s totally different from the others.
How do you get her?
Firstly, you need to get over the fact that you might be rejected or feel like an idiot when getting her attention. But whatever; if it bombs, there are literally three and a half billion other women in the world. Remember this, the most important lesson in love: it is better to shit your pants than to die of constipation. Just go for it.
Fit girls have different priorities. You have to cater to her interests – like health. She might be the kind of girl that thinks a run through the park is a romantic date. Awesome! Those girls are usually loyal – and they most likely make really big and delicious sandwiches. But before you have visions of sex, weights and protein shakes, you have to start somewhere. Here are some great ways to get her curious about you and what you look like all sweaty and happy.
Scenario 1: The Girl at the Gym:
1 — Leave a note on the equipment or with the gym desk
If you have seen her around a couple of times and you know she has noticed you, this one will work. Hopefully you have gotten to the point where you acknowledge each other’s presence. If you are leaving and she is still working out, smile and nod at her. Then leave a post-it note at the desk give to her on her way out. Or, be bold and walk by and stick it to her bench or near where she is working. Keep it complementary and light: “I didn’t want to interrupt you – you are the hardest working girl in here! May I buy you coffee, or a protein shake?” Then give your number or Facebook name. If it’s no hit, just continue to be polite when you see her again
2 — Take a class with her
It’s ok once and a while to switch your 8 am to her 7 am. Maybe she notices you, too. Work your way in there. “Oh, is this the class you go to? Maybe I’ll have to go to that one some time.” And leave it at that. Need an ice breaker once you’re in class? See the next tip
3 — Challenge her during class
YES! The best way to the fit girls heart! “Wanna race?” or “I bet you can’t XYZ”. Challenge her to lift more weight, race her in spin class, squat contest, anything. Guys are great with coming up with games. When she finishes, be proud of her. High five and big sparkly smiles should do enough. If she is open to you, she will continue a dialogue.
4 — Work into a set
Keep it cool, bro. Ask to share the cables or bench. When you make the initial contact, be prepared to guide the conversation for a couple of minutes; as in ask her about what she is working on or training for. Stay cool and curious about what she is doing with her fitness.
5 — Show her a new move
This is bold and you better know what you are talking about. If she is doing a movement like deadlift or bench press or a high pull, show her a helpful accessory movement. DO NOT correct her. Just share knowledge. Again, be prepared to guide the conversation for a bit.
6 — Sit, be patient and wait for her to finish the set
This is what worked for my favourite ex-boyfriend. We had seen each other around and kind of knew the same people. I was doing abs – like REALLY going for it. When I finished my rounds, he was waiting on a nearby bench, freshly showered and reading a newspaper. I was so surprised. Then he asked me to a movie. Perfect timing, I was sweaty and full of dopamine. His opening line: “I didn’t want to interrupt you…” is always a winner. It shows you have respect for her and her work.
Whatever you do, DO NOT
— Interrupt her set: You are rude and disrespectful. Arrogant to bat. I will kill you with the fire in my eyes if you interrupt my set.
— Critique her moves: Are you a professional coach? If not, then don’t even think about critiquing a stranger, much less a stranger you want to get to know better.
— Tell her she has a nice ass: “Nice delts” or “Awesome quads” might work but be careful about giving compliments. You don’t want to come off as a creeper. This is easy to do in the gym. One time a guy said “I don’t mean this in a sexual way, but I see you here a lot and I wanted to tell you, I noticed you train really hard and you look really great. I just wanted to tell you.” Then he let me get back to work. That was ok. The trick is to stay detached and giver her admiration. Compliment how hard she works MORE than how awesome her body is. The lady will like you better.
— Offer to spot her: Oh, you mean some lame excuse to put your grimy hands on her? You better not.
She graduated at California State University in Los Angeles. After taking time off to backpack through India, she landed in Berlin where she is working as a Personal Trainer, fitness and health consultant and Program Director at Crossfit Mitte.
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